Jeret's Day...

This past weekend we celebrated the life of our precious baby boy who left this world all to soon.

Every Birthday, I try to imagine what he would be like today. What would his interests be? What would he ask for? What would it be like to hear him talk, or whine, or cry? And then I force those those thoughts out of my mind, because I simply can't imagine him as a 6 year old.   I know we have Colten, and I have a glimpse into the life he may be living but I still can not imagine. 

One of the many lessons I've learned from losing Jeret is how powerful motherhood truly is.  It is one of life's greatest gifts.

Even though Jeret isn't physically with us anymore, I still think about him, worry about him, pray for him, hope he is happy and finding success in whatever he might be doing. I realize I'm still his mom, and all of the motherly feelings and emotions I have for Colten, Aubrey, and Claire, still exist for Jeret. None of those feelings were buried along with him.

This time of year is always so bitter sweet. It breaks my heart to know that my children know all to much about death, that they have their mother's crazy emotions overshadowing their special days. 

At the same time I am forever grateful that God has given them the wisdom to truly understand it all.  For Colten to know in the middle of his birthday party that his mom's heart was hurting, and for him to come over, give me a hug and a kiss and tell me that his heart hurts too. I am thankful for all the life lessons that my children have learned through this process.  Thankful that they have a true understanding of what life is all about.

So Jeret as we celebrate the anniversary of you leaving the physical world please know we love you, and miss you.  That there is not a day that goes by where we do not long for you.  Thank you for all you do for us, for guiding, protecting, and directing us in every aspect of our lives.  We love you!