Eight Years...

Wow!  How is that possible?!?  Still can not believe it has been eight years since the absolute worst day of our lives.  You think every year it will get easier but I still find myself waiting for that to happen.  

We had no idea when we saw you and Colten in the isolate that we would never get to hold you in our arms, never have the opportunity to take you to school, watch you fight with your sisters, or play baseball.   I had no idea that in a matter of a few hours our lives would change.  That a place in our hearts would break and always remain broken, and that as the years passed we would miss you just as much as we did on the day.  We had no idea that our new parent worries would escalate from deciding which crib to purchase to worrying if we picked the right casket for you.

However at the same time there is a part of me that would do it over, and over, and over again because if we did not have this pain we would not have you.  If this was not our reality we would not have Colten, or your sisters.  

It's hard to believe you should be half way through second grade.  Colten asks often if you learn the same lessons at school in Heaven as he does on Earth.  Aubrey randomly mentions you, and Claire oh sweet Claire makes us so happy when she talks about all of your baby belongings that hang on our wall.  I know when these things are brought up its you and God reminding us of your sweet life, making us aware that as the time goes on you will not be forgotten.  You taught me more in the 23 hours you were with us here on earth than many people are able to teach in a life time.
Precious boy I hope you know how loved you are by your parents, brother, and sisters.  I hope that the cake in Heaven is amazing and that your great Grandmas love on you today for us.  I know we will love on your brother a little more wishing that you were here to love on too.  Happy Birthday!  We can not wait until we are all in Heaven celebrating together.